Ask The D.J.

So I managed to get a morning off during the week to hit up some Charity shops and a few Recycling Centres along the way. P*ssed down the whole time and driving around wasn't much fun but I did turn up a nice batch of goodies including a Spanish Psych 45 (with nice break), a couple more Boosey & Hawkes library LPs (one being a particularly nice Tony Kinsey outing with loads of sample potential), and an assortment of good quality Easy Listening (found the sample J-Zone used for 'Zone Mission' off his classic debut 'Music For Tu Madre'). Also picked up another copy of a Private Press UK Jazz album by Bryan Jones & The New Jazz Orchestra called 'We Play For Fun' which includes a really good version of Lalo Schiffrin's 'The Cat'. The copy I already had is battered so I was pleased to find a nice mint one.

My favourite record rescued from imminent doom at one of the dumps though is this U.K. 12" by Barry Upton called 'Just Ask The D.J.' Now this really is something special. And not only did I manage to turn up one copy, but two of the little beauties were sat there amongst a pile of equally awful, mid '80s, throwaway Dance 12"s. Just take a look at the sleeve (click images for supersize scans to fully appreciate), and ask yourself if you could have left them behind for 25p a pop.

The immensity of the cover didn't really dawn on me until I got home and studied it properly. Sure, the Super-Hero DJ dressed in DMC lycra with accompanying cape obviously jumped out and those two hotties are without a doubt eye-catching to say the least, particularly the one sitting down, but It wasn't 'til later I noticed the little details that make this cover even more special. DMC 'record' belt buckle, those headphones, and the amazing logos on the girls T-Shirts. The Disco lights too. Man this is classic material right here and that's only the front cover.

On the back, reads a message from the cool dude on the front..."Hi! Mix Man here. I've borrowed the mortal coil of DJ Barry Upton to deliver my first messages to humans everywhere. I know how many of you like to play around with sound these days so I've arranged for two 12" versions of 'Ask The DJ' to be made available to provide you with all the 24 track cut-outs and production items you'll need to make yourself into a record producer. I've also arranged with my friends at Philips to provide a sensational Philips Compact Disc Hi-Fi system F462 for the human who sends me the best remix. Meanwhile Barry Upton is joined on this DMC release by Uncle Funk so you have two unique vocal raps, a white version and a black version. All versions are re-mixed by the superhuman Les 'Mixdoctor' Adams. I'm sticking around the planet for a few months and will be judging the competition in January, you'll read the results in Mix Mag the ultimate DJ monthly magazine. Meanwhile I'm flying around the country with the DMC roadshow and hope to see you prior to checking out another planet with turntable problems".

Amazing stuff! A 'white' and a 'black' version. Well, of the two, I've uploaded the black version which features Uncle Funk. His rapping skills are marginally better than Barry Upton's but they are both equally atrocious. Uncle Funk pipped it though with lines like..."So many records that I wanna hear but not enough time in the day" and "I sold all my keyboards, my house, my car, and bought records like a man possessed". Words of a true digger. And for the icing on the cake - the record is pressed up on white vinyl. Nice touch.

For those of you with a sense of humour this release is one of those that is sooo bad it becomes good. Enjoy the scans and enjoy the music. As for the spare copy I picked up, I'm looking for trades. Still after Ron B's elusive 'Stitch By Stitch' 12" which would make a fair swap. If you got a copy hit me up and the deal is done.


Barry Upton 'Ask The D.J.' (feat. Uncle Funk)